Blogging is easier than journaling. Forgive my incomplete thoughts that are bound to happen.

What you believe to be true is going to directly affect how you act. For example, you believe getting punched in the face hurts, you try to avoid getting hit. That being said, look at the lives of all the Christians you know. Do we really believe Jesus? When Jesus says in Mark 16, "And these signs will accompany those who believe: in My Name they will drive out demons; they will speak in new tongues; they will pick up snakes with their hands; and when they drink deadly poison, it will not hut them at all; they will place their hands on sick people, and they will get well." What if our daily lives are totally off track?

Separate thought. I struggled a lot lately with an area of disobedience, in which I spent a long time trying to fight the sin and hate the sin and treat the sin as what it was, when all along the Lord was really saying, "yeah, it happened, but you need to move past it." Some wisdom a friend shared with me last night- "When you focus on your past sin, it is empowered. When you focus on the old man, he is empowered. Only one thing deserves your focus: Jesus, how much He loves you, His holy and perfect will for your life, His Spirit moving within you." Jesus said in Luke 9:62 "no one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the Kingdom." If you're looking back at the crooked lines you've already plowed, you won't be looking forward to plow straight lines.

Where your thought life is, your heart will follow. If you don't discipline your thoughts, "take every thought captive" (2 Corinthians 10:5), your heart will not be focused on Jesus. If your heart is not focused on Jesus, being near to Him and serving Him will be a hard thing to do.

Jesus, I pray that you will put a hunger in my heart for Your Word, that my pursuit will not be half-hearted.

My friend Justin and I dabbled in making a poetry album last fall (in the style of Bradley Hathaway or Levi the Poet). This is the only poem I finished writing and never got to record.

Your face may or may not be a mystery to me,

But someday, maybe someday soon will be the day that I see it truly

And suddenly there will be only you and me and there will be joy. Unspeakable joy.

I thank God for the days we will share.

And someday the nights, too, but not until the two become one flesh.
I will mount my trusty steed and the breastplate of righteousness will gleam in the sun

As I step up to be your knight.

Not that you need saving, the King already took care of that.

He's just appointed me to be your protector.

I will ask the King for His daughter's hand, the hand of the princess,

After all, you'll love Him far more than me anyway.

And if He says, "Wait", wait I shall.

For there is no amount of hardships that could ever outweigh

the glory of the promises that we will make, and the covenant that we will keep.

Before God and man, there will be rejoicing.

We will rejoice in each other and in our King, our intertwined fingers adorned with rings.

Moving forward.

Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits in the place of honor at God’s right hand. Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth. For you died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God. And when Christ, who is your life, is revealed to the whole world, you will share in all his glory.

So put to death the sinful, earthly things lurking within you. Have nothing to do with sexual immorality, impurity, lust, and evil desires. Don’t be greedy, for a greedy person is an idolater, worshiping the things of this world. Because of these sins, the anger of God is coming. You used to do these things when your life was still part of this world. But now is the time to get rid of anger, rage, malicious behavior, slander, and dirty language. Don’t lie to each other, for you have stripped off your old sinful nature and all its wicked deeds. Put on your new nature, and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator and become like him. In this new life, it doesn’t matter if you are a Jew or a Gentile, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbaric, uncivilized, slave, or free. Christ is all that matters, and he lives in all of us.

Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.

Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom he gives. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts. And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father.

Life needs to change. I need to change. I need to be renewed by the transforming of my mind. I need to set my sights on the realities of heaven. I need to take up my sword and destroy everything that would have me destroyed. I need to treat my sin as what it is, and not something I can afford to be patient with. I need to bible up. I need to pray without ceasing. I need to work out my salvation with fear and trembling. I need to start caring. I need to start loving. I need to learn to understand what that means. I need to take up my cross daily. And I need the Holy Spirit for any of this to be effective.